Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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