that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You ruined the universe
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
