I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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