hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
