nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
