Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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