I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
