R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize