her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
