She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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