Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
