Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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