Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
