I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Someone shit on the floor
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
