Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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