my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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