She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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