just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
