We won't sleep together?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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