i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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