no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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