I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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