it hurts more in the daytime
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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