thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
