I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
