if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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