Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize