so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
