you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
