roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
