What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
