I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Are we still banned from the library?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
