Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
