I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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