how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize