The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
