thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wear drunk well.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
