btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize