holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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