She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
