I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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