I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
