life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize