She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
