Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
