so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
