ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
