when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
