WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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