I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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