my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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