when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
