***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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