I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
