I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
