I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So vagazzling was a success
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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