doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
